Confidence – Beyond the Comfort Zone

However skilled or experienced we are in certain things, there comes a point when certain situations or tasks take us way beyond our comfort zone. For some this can be a welcome adventure and positive challenge – to others it provokes feelings of anxiety, nervousness and fear.

We often refer to this as  ‘lack of confidence’ and here are some tips to increasing your own ability to stretch and tackle new things.

1. Think positively…

Many of us are guilty of ‘awfulising’ – blowing things up out of all proportion. Ask yourself how bad is something really – on a scale of 1-100?  What’s the worst that could happen?  And how could you minimise the risk.  What benefits will there be from doing it?

2. Accept that you are different from others

Comparing our approaches, skills and abilities to others is not always helpful – we are own own unique selves. Just because someone else breezes through a challenge seemingly with ease doesn’t mean that it has to be something that we will either enjoy or be good at.  If you have choice and really do not want to do something, say NO.

3. Seek feedback and support

Find supportive and positive colleagues to give you feedback on what they think are your strengths and positive contributions. You may be surprised how others see you.  Do you have to tackle this new challenge alone?  Who could help you through mentoring or support?

4. Assess your past successes

Think back to previous experiences and identify situations in which you have been successful or performed well which might link with the new situation you are facing.

5. Change limiting beliefs to empowering ones

Beliefs are stories we tell ourselves – our perceptions of reality. They come from parents, community leaders, teachers and other figures of authority in our childhood.  They are not always helpful or true.

Limiting beliefs hold us back (‘I can’t do this’, ‘I’m not worthy’, ‘I’m no good at that’).

Instead of saying ‘I can’t do this’, ‘I’ll never be able to’, etc, make a positive sentence that is more empowering, while acknowledging your concerns:

Eg ‘This is a new situation and I’m apprehensive, however, I have shown I can tackle things similar to this in the past with great results and I believe with some effort I will be able to again.’

See stretching beyond your comfort zone as an adventure and a chance to develop.

6. Set goals and small steps to increase confidence

Break the new situation/task down into smaller and smaller steps until you get to some practical things that you can do – what is the first step forward?

7. Adopt powerful body language

If you’ve never watched the Amy Cuddy TED talk on power posing – do so. The science has been questioned but there is a lot of evidence that this really works – I use it with clients all the time.

8. Research and prepare

Much anxiety comes from fear of failure or being put on the spot. The more you research a situation/people you are going to meet, the less threat you will feel.  The situations I feel most confident are where I know my stuff so well that if I lost my notes then I could still speak passionately about the subject.

9. Don’t dwell on blame – learn from mistakes

Things don’t always go to plan. And it’s not always down to you.  Other people can point fingers unhelpfully.  Take mistakes and failures as learning experiences.  No scientist or inventor ever made progress without finding how not to do things. As Thomas Edison (inventor of the lightbulb) said:

“I have not failed – I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work”

10 Each day identify things you’ve done well

Start or add to your diary each day 3 things that you’re proud of achieving and/or things that you are grateful for.

_______________________________________________________________

Get in touch to find out more about coaching 

If you’re interested in developing your self awareness, communication or management skills, confidence, time management or just getting focus on your goals, do get in touch to discuss. I believe everyone has the potential to improve their performance, motivation and happiness – coaching works because you become accountable to an external person who is a source of encouragement and support – as well as challenging your barriers.

Email Zoë Whitby: zoe@zwcoaching.co.uk

Call on: 07919 201128

Like my Facebook page for regular shares of interesting articles and videos click here

Subscribe to my monthly emailer on ‘Effectiveness at Work’  click here