Stop being an ‘Ass’! are your assumptions getting in the way of your goals?

Are your assumptions stopping you?

How does the saying go? To ASSUME is to make an ASS out of U and ME!….put that way, why would anyone want to live their life based on assumptions? Yet it’s what many of us do a lot of the time…

I’ve recently been reading Time to Think by Nancy Kline.  In her coaching she uses an interesting question to challenge clients who come up with reasons for not doing things that will move them forward towards their goals or even provide solutions to short term problems:

“What are you assuming that is stopping you from…..?”

This is a different way of exploring the barriers that many people fail to voice directly when they say things like:

  • “I can’t…”
  • “I’ll never be able to…”
  • “I’m frightened that…”

Assumptions are often linked to mindreading what others might think or feel in response to a situation or making judgements about our own abilities when stepping outside our comfort zone.

I had a contact approach me the other day asking what they could do to improve their confidence in dealing with internal colleagues. This was a great example of assumptions running rife – they were thinking along these lines:

  • Assumption 1 That ALL internal colleagues are going to be difficult
  • Assumption 2 That colleagues have a different ultimate agenda/goal to their own
  • Assumption 3 That as a junior member of the team their opinion had less value than others

The trick that Nancy Kline suggests is to take these assumptions and reframe them into a question that frees the thinking and enables the person to think more positively. In the above example, we could ask the individual:

“If you knew that your skills and opinion were valued by colleagues and that you are all working to a common goal how would you approach these conversations?”

So, if there’s something that you’re not getting round to doing, or finding difficult to tackle – have a go at working out what your assumptions might be and challenge your thinking.

Here are a few questions that might fit with a situation for you:

  • If you knew that the company you worked encouraged ideas and initiative, how would you approach your work differently?
  • If you could look back on your life and know that you’d lived it to the full, what would you be doing now to make that happen?
  • If you knew that you are appreciated, how would that change things for you?
  • If you knew you have the courage to do something new, what would be the first step you would take?

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Get in touch to find out more about coaching  

If you’re interested in developing your self awareness, communication or management skills, confidence, time management or just getting focus on your goals, do get in touch to discuss. I believe everyone has the potential to improve their performance, motivation and happiness – coaching works because you become accountable to an external person who is a source of encouragement and support – as well as challenging your barriers.

Email Zoë Whitby: zoe@zwcoaching.co.uk

Call on: 07919 201128

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