The sixth in a series of articles based on Stephen Covey’s acclaimed book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” – to view the other articles click the links below:
Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind (goals and vision)
Habit 3 – First things First (time management)
Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand (listening skills)
Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw (look after your wellbeing)
Synergy: the combined or co-operative action or functioning. The name picked by one of the hapless teams in the autumn 10 series of The Apprentice – and a quality that they definitely do not display!
Habit 6 is about realising what can be gained by combining your strengths with those of others in a positive way. It also emphasises that the power of the 7 Habits is in their relationship to each other. In particular, the seeking a win/win outcome (Habit 4) is aided by the skills of empathic listening to understand the other person’s needs (Habit 5) and a synergistic approach, believing that there is an answer and that together you can create a way forward.
Underpinning the concept of synergy is the ability to value difference in others: we all have a unique combination of behavioural traits that mean that we experience and react to situations in different ways – we operate from different ‘maps of the world’.
Going ‘off piste’ for a moment, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) calls these differences metaprograms. Some authors have identified over 60 patterns – most of which define an approach or behaviour along a continuum. An individual may operate habitually at one of the extremes or exhibit a mixture of the patterns or indeed have flexibility in using different approaches dependent on the situation or context.
Differences in metaprograms explain why two or more people could experience the same event and take from it a different understanding or respond to it in a different way – at its very simplest, half a pint of beer left in a pint pot to one person is a glass half full (the Direction metaprogram pattern of Optimist) and to another half empty (Pessimist). Other examples include:
Embedded within the range of metaprograms you will find familiar behavioural style traits from personality profiling tools such as the Myers Briggs Type Indicator.
By understanding our own metaprograms (filters or behavioural traits) and being alert to those of others we have more tools available for building rapport, empathising, understanding and deepening relationships. We need to recognise that there is no right or wrong pattern – and we are not ‘stuck’ with our metaprograms; once we are aware of them we have the ability to choose to operate differently. If someone is running the opposite end of a metaprogram to ourselves then our job is to appreciate their program and meet the other person in their map of the world.
Thus Habit 6 is about having the humility to recognise that our own filters on the world are not necessarily the best ones – they can be limiting and by opening our minds to the perspectives that others can bring we can enrich our options and experiences.
So rather than stubbornly sticking to your idea of how to approach something, consider consulting others, listening to understand the basis of their ideas, asking them to listen to yours and together working on a truly synergistic way forward. New ideas will flow and as the saying goes ‘the whole will be greater than the sum of the parts’.
Tips for putting this habit into practise:
Ready for the next habit? Click here for Habit 7 – Sharpen the Saw.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen Covey (1989)is published by Franklin Covey Co ISBN 0-684-85839-8