The second in a series of articles based on the chapters of Stephen Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.
What do you really want out of life? If we think back for a moment to Habit 1 (Be Proactive) – we get out what we put in; life is not something that happens to us – we can take the initiative and make it happen.
Stephen Covey invites us to fast forward to the end of our life and imagine attending our own funeral. What would you WANT to hear as you stood at the back and listened to your friends, family and colleagues talking about your character, contributions and achievements? This is a very powerful visualisation and, if you prefer, you could think of it as a ‘This is Your Life’ in your twilight years.
So Habit 2 is about understanding what our ‘end game’ is – a Habit that is just as valid in setting out on a new project or thinking about your career as it is to life in general. Being able to picture the outcome you want, hear what you and others will be saying and experience the associated feelings – fully understanding your destination – helps you to determine what is important and thus place your Proactive effort on the right things. To quote Stephen Covey:
“It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in the activity trap. In the business of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover it’s leaning against the wrong wall. It is possible to be busy – very busy – without being effective.”
In deciding where we want to get to, Stephen Covey introduces the idea of identifying what is at the ‘Centre’ of our Circle of Influence (remember that this contains all the things that matter to us and which we have some influence on). This is the source of our
These things are interdependent and underpin every dimension of life.
Covey suggests that each of us has a centre, even though we might not recognise it or the effect it might have on our lives. He gives examples of typical centres which people have – briefly these are:
To identify your own centre, consider how you react when situations arise that need a decision – which of the above do you typically place the most importance on in making the decision?
Because these typical centres are based on people or things which are subject to frequent change, they can have a limiting effect on personal effectiveness. Covey suggests that a better paradigm is to place our principles at the centre of our Circle of Influence – the fundamental guiding values that define us as individuals. As a principle-centred person you can consider the balanced whole of a situation and the implications of a certain decision on all of the other influences in our lives and come up with the best solution.
The final part of this Habit is about setting out your personal ‘mission statement’ – setting out what you want to be (your character) and do (achieve or contribute) and what the values and principles on which you operate in the world are.
We all play various roles in our lives – perhaps parent, employee, boss, daughter/son, friend, neighbour, community member, colleague, etc. These can be quite distinct and it helps to consider the outcomes we want in all of these different areas. Think about your priorities and use your imagination to express your vision for you in a personal and positive way. Your writing should be in the present tense (I am a loyal and respected employee who can be depended on to ….) and also tap into the emotions. Reading your mission statement back will be a heartfelt experience. Good news is, this is for YOU and there’s no need to publish it!
Here’s a suggestion for a simple format:
So here are your three tasks for this habit:
Check out the other habits at the links below.
Habit 2 – Begin with the End in Mind (goals and vision)
Habit 3 – First things First (time management)
Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand (listening skills)
Habit 6 – Synergise (know your strengths and those of others)
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen Covey (1989)is published by Franklin Covey Co ISBN 0-684-85839-8